I did a lot of talking to other published authors while I was writing PRANK THE MONKEY, and they all had one thing to say: "Don't expect your publisher to do jack shit." The typical publisher has several hundred books to promote at any given time, and unless you're Monica Lewinsky, your book is just another product. If you go into it with no expectations, then you'll be pleasantly surprised if the publisher does help in some small way. But be prepared to do everything yourself.
This was fine by me, as I've been self-promoting for decades. I've learned a few things about publicity over the years, which I will share with you now, free of charge (provided you tell ten friends you saw it here on ZUG.com, then convince them to carve ZUG.com tattoos into their arms with a rusty penknife).
Don't be shy. No one is going to toot your horn for you, and no one else will ever sell your book (CD, Web site, or whatever) as well as you. Be relentless. Be obnoxious. Make a T-shirt that reads ASK ME ABOUT MY BOOK and wear it without washing for two straight weeks. Hustle mercilessly.
Develop a press kit. You can see my press materials here. For the press kit that I sent off to magazines and newspapers, I included all these materials, plus a photo, copy of the book, and an attention-grabbing flourescent sticker on the outside of the envelope that read WARNING: SPOILED MEAT.
Develop the elevator pitch. Be able to explain the concept of your book in 30 seconds or less. Sell it to anyone who will listen. Always have a fresh bit of news ready for anyone who asks: the number of books you've sold, your latest review, the story of a reader who used your book for emergency toilet paper, etc.
Cultivate friends. As much as you think a well-written press release can sell the book by itself, the publicity game is 85% about personal contacts. When you do get a nice publicity hit, make sure to thank the reporter personally. Write down his or her name, e-mail address, and phone number, and be sure to call next time you have something to promote (but don't waste his or her time unless you have something good). Sometimes I send thank-you gifts after a nice writeup, which is probably illegal.
Build your list. Getting the contact information for all these reporters, producers, and editors is something of an art. I talk a bit about this in my book, but it comes down to doing a lot of Internet research, then guessing at e-mail addresses. There are also a few Web sites that specialize in contact information for major magazines, newspapers, and shows, but I don't know how reliable these are. I've developed my own list from years upon years of doing this stuff, and no, you can't have it.
Develop the "peg." Your pitch will always be stronger if you can develop a relevant and topical news angle around your book. For instance, we intentionally released PRANK THE MONKEY in February, when we could build publicity leading up to April Fool's Day. Which, unfortunately, has been cancelled this year.
Don't get discouraged. Publicity is like fishing: you cast out a dozen lines, you might get a nibble. Sometimes that nibble turns into a catch, and sometimes it gets away, despite your best efforts. There are so many factors that go into a publicity "hit" -- whether the news program is running long, whether the editor is in a good mood, whether the reporter showed up drunk to work and missed his deadline -- and most of them are beyond your control.
A few years back, The New York Times was going to run a feature story on The Senator Prank in the Sunday edition -- they even had the little Times-style illustration drawn up and everything. On Saturday, the reporter called me and told me that the story had been cut. I argued that the Sunday Times is roughly the size of the Earth Phone Book, and surely they could fit it in. But they never ran the article, and there was nothing I could do, but keep fishing.
Follow up. Don't think sending a press kit is enough: you have to relentlessly contact and re-contact your people. I have been known to follow up with reporters over a dozen times, but I now think that's a little excessive. My new rule of thumb is to make three contacts with a particular reporter (for instance, a press kit, e-mail, phone call). If you don't get a nibble after three contacts, odds are you're never going to hear from them. Wish them a quick and speedy death, then move on.
Keep on plugging. There's never a time to stop promoting. Never let your enthusiasm for your project wane. Especially if you really believe in the book, as I do with PRANK THE MONKEY -- which is now available at your local bookstore for the amazingly low price of $9.95 -- then you shold never stop talking about it.
And on that note, I'll stop talking about it. For today, anyway.
Next: A Brilliant Ending!